I’m the kind of frustrated that I can’t chew my gum hard or fast enough to kill the taste out of it; the kind that makes me uncomfortable in sleeves; the kind that makes me throw my arms and fingers out wrecklessly until they hurt; the kind that makes me wish I were a violent person so that I could take it out on some thing; the helpeless kind of frustrated–helpless because I know I’m to blame but I can’t find a way out of the feeling.

Right now the things that should come most naturally to me are straining and suffocating me. There’s just no outlet.