This has been consuming most of my writing energy lately. I think it is the fifteenth version. I want to get it published here at Mason, and I figured TIP is a good warm up.
It feels good to let it go. There’s that version, and if I can keep myself from printing it out and uncapping a red pen it might be the last one. But I don’t think it’s complete, for the record.
I’ve always loved your writing, Jeff!
This one’s a bit depressing (like I said on the phone it’s probably because of how close I feel to the story), but well-written.
I’d work on the opening paragraph still. There are too many “five-dollars words”—it messes up the flow.
I’m not sure if you remember us talking about this before, but I’m glad you made the disorder as clear as you did in this version—you gave enough details that someone could easily figure out what’s troubling the person writing (you).
Sorry I can’t give you more feedback, but I think you understand why that is now (after our last call).
I’m highly anticipating your next piece!
About The Author: Jeff Brown
[cryptothanks]
More posts by Jeff Brown